Sgt. Stooge: Keeper of Peaches, Securer of Millions

So, I'm going through my yahoo mail and I find this gem:

Hello,

I am Sgt Larry Wayne an American Combat Soldier group of 50,000 combatants, left behind in Iraq for advisory and assistance to Iraq Forces after the Handing over to Iraq Peach Keeping Force, during my services I was been able to secure $16 million U.S Dollars which I have with me, I want to send over this funds to a Trust Worth Person that we help me keep it till I am back from the Camp in Baghdad Iraq, hopefully January 2012, Since Our Final Troops is leaving Iraq January 2012. 

If you are Interested in this Offer kindly contact me via my Private Email:llarrywayne80@aol.com

You will find the story of this money on the web address below. After we have summated the remaining part

http://www.chuckypita.com/700-billion-cash-found-in-baghdad-iraq/

Please kindly keep this transaction Confidential because I am still serving in the Military camp in Baghdad Iraq.

Sgt Larry Wayne.

I'm relieved to know our government is protecting the peaches of the world. Long live the peaches!

Oh, and am I the only one that thought "Mrs. Butterworth" when he suggested he was looking for a Trust Worth Person?

Seriously, though, this kind of shit really pisses me off. On both sides. The scammer for being such a sleaze, using guilt and patriotism and good 'ol 'Merikan values, and the people gullible enough to let them get away with it. I guess I've never met anyone that naive and it confounds me. 

I just want to pat them on the head, while simultaneously having a fit of the giggles, and tell them, "You'll know better next time, won't you?"

You found me, eh, motherfucker?

Yeah, motherfucker, YOU. I know you're watching me. How was it finding yourself blocked on Facebook? I bet that just pissed you the fuck off. LOLOLOLOL

You think I wouldn't find out? You still think you're smarter than me? You still think you're TEH MASTER of this computer/internet jazz?

I have your IP address, fuckwad and yes, I know you've been to this blog. On September 26, 2011 at 8:25am, as a matter of fact. You clicked my link from Facebook.

I also think it's pretty damn hysterical that a man whose business claims to make between $500,000 and $1,000,000 a year in profits is still using a dinosaur of a computer with Windows NT.

The creepy sociopath gets a taste of his own medicine. How does it feel, motherfucker?

I've been ready for this for a long time, you bastard. I have a paper trail 12 miles long. If something happens to me or my kids, I have guaranteed you're the FIRST motherfucker they come looking for. Oh, and my sweet little babies have FOIDs and concealed carry permits. Try them, I dare you.

Oh, and nice touch with the posted profile pic taken when we were together, wearing a tie I picked out for you. The depth and breadth of your sick mind never cease to amaze me. Someone should have fucked you in the eye socket until death while you were in prison.

I'm NOT the same dumb cunt you married in 1995 and I'm not afraid of you anymore, either.

This only has one of three possible outcomes:

1) You kill me, in which case, my kids become millionaires and you get the needle.
2) I lose my shit when you confront me and you end up taking a dirt nap.
3) You just leave me the fuck alone and save us both a whole lot of misery.

So, bring it, asshole. I'm waiting. I'm ready. Are you?