I am a crazy person.

I rarely sleep when it's dark out.

When strangers touch me, even by accident, I have panic attacks.

I like to go for days (or weeks) on end, alone, in my room.

I am a crazy person.

I have a million and one things that are triggers and those triggers make me feel a trillion feelings I never want to feel again. Avoidance is my BEST friend.

Sometimes, the touch of even the ones I love makes my skin crawl and my stomach lurch.

I hate orgasms. I hate what they represent. I hate that I rarely have them. And I especially hate how I disappoint others when I don't. I regularly tear myself to shreds over it.

I am a crazy person.

I have big emotions and big reactions and I hate myself for it.

I stuff everything down so I'm just like everyone else.

I am a fraud because I only allow you only see what you can handle seeing. I hide from you.

I am a crazy person.

The harder you work to break down my walls, the more furiously I slap mortar to brick and put them back in place.

The smallest of slights become excuses for me to run.

I am overly sensitive to your every word, every look, and every body movement.

I am a crazy person.

I am afraid of the world.

I am afraid of people loving me.

I am afraid to acknowledge just how much I need. NEED. NEED. NEED.

I am a crazy person.

My calm, cool exterior hides the tsunami inside.

My smile hides my rage.

My kindness hides my desire to smash the world to pieces.

I am a crazy person.

I need you to love me, and I don't want you to. I'll only hurt you in the end.

I need you to hold me tightest when I pull away hardest.

I need you to give a shit--even when I tell you I hate you and to go away.

I am a crazy person.

I am pain and frustration and tears and drama. I am doctors and medication and hospitalizations and mood swings.

I am more trouble than I am worth.

You'll invest more than you'll return.

I am a crazy person.