Best. Snark. Ever.

I think I was about 23 or 24 and I had found out my kids' dad was cheating on me.

Anyway, I tracked the girl down and befriended her. She invited the kids and me out to lunch. 

She was HAWT! We hit it off splendidly and she invited us to go and spend the weekend with her and her kids. I went home, packed us a bag, didn't leave a note and off we went.

I came home three days later. I had barely gotten the kids out of their car seats and baby daddy was down the block at the car, screaming at me.

Him: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!?!?!" 

complete silence as I finish getting the kids out of the car

Him: "BITCH, I ASKED YOU WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!?!?!"

walked up to him and looked him dead in the eye, expressionless

Him: "I said, where have you been, bitch?!?!?!"

Me: "Well, let me put it to you like this: Ain't it a bitch when your girlfriend steals your girlfriend?"

blank look that said his gears were in motion and he was trying to figure out just what I meant

......pause......

realization hits

Him: "You fucked her!?!?!?!"

Me: "Yes, I fucked her. If she was good enough for you to fuck, I figured she was good enough for me to fuck."

I wish I'd had a camera.