Focus, Grasshoppa!

I have this friend, her name is Tonette, but we call her Tee.

We've had a ton of good times. This is one of them.

Soon after I met her I received my tax return in the mail and decided to go shopping for a computer.

So, off we go to Best Buy.

I finally gather all the boxes for the computer, pick out the CD's I wanted to buy, along with some other goodies and go to get in line.

There we were, standing in line, with a huge flatbed cart loaded with computer and computer accessories and not a cashier in sight.

Two other customers come to the register after me and along comes a cashier, finally, and what does he do? He waits on the two other customers before me. Just so happened, one of them wanted to use three different debit cards to pay for four items. By the time she was checked out, I was more than just a little irritated, to say the least.

He finally gets me to the register and begins checking me out. Just a couple of items in to this, he gets distracted and wanders off away from me and my order.

Tee was tired, so she decided to sit down in chair they had in the mock-up of a home office center located just to the left of the register.

She saw me getting heated and started telling me, "Now, just hush, girl. Don't embarrass me."

She knew how I could get.

Anyway, I kind of loudly, but not really, remind the cashier he needed to come back and finish checking me out before the store closed and save the joke telling to his co-workers until after he was done waiting on me. He rolled his eyes a bit, but wandered back to the register.

He rings up two more items and gets distracted AGAIN and wanders off.

By now, I am livid. I'm sure Tee could see the puffs of smoke emanating from my ears. She tells me to calm down.

Calm down my ass.

"Excuse me? Mr. Best Buy checkout guy? Um, yeah, I'd like to get this computer home before midnight and get it set up."

He looks and rolls his eyes.

Not a smart move.

"HELLO?! FOCUS (hand gestures included) GRASSHOPPA!!!! If you don't want my $1300 in purchases I can very easily go down the street to Circuit City. I'm sure they would appreciate my business and I can inform your manager on the way out just exactly why I'm going to another store to spend my money."

About this time, I hear Tee laughing hysterically. I look over and there she is, tossing her head back and roaring.

Then, the inevitable happened.

She tossed her head back just a little too hard and there she went, ass over teakettle. Right to the floor, chair on top of her.

"You bitch! Why do you always make me laugh so gawddamn hard!? I'm never going out in public with you again!"

Needless to say, Mr. Best Buy waddled his ass back to the register and got us out of the store, post haste.

Good times were had by all, except the waddling Best Buy guy.