Honorable with dishonorable intent.

I used to think I did the honorable thing because I was honorable.

Honorable with dishonorable intent is the charge, guilty is the verdict.

Truth is, the high road is paved with gold and it winds its way through the land of milk and honey. I do the honorable thing because it gets me what I want. I manipulate it until it serves me. Be it for money, sex, power, adoration, loyalty, smug satisfaction, divine retribution, laughable irony or poetic justice.

And when I've sated myself of the desire du jour, I slip away, fingers still greasy, respect intact.

It's completely self-serving.

Not to mention, guilt, remorse and bittersweet memories of goodness lost, left behind to live rent-free in another persons head are mighty sticks to walk softly with.

The rush of being able to righteously beat someone with them, if only in my mind, to get drunk on their blood and feast on their flesh, is indescribably sublime.