My submission is not a gift.

Why is it so hard to recognize that the imbalance of power should make for a balance in the relationship? You can't go into this thing when one half expects too much and the other half doesn't expect enough.

I liken my submission to a well. You can keep dippin' in it and dippin' in it for a cold, delicious drink, but if it doesn't get any rain, it fucking goes dry.

I'm not Mother Teresa. I'm not altruistic and I don't really think any human is. People get something out of what they do. People serve their needs.

My submission is absolutely self-serving. I absolutely sought out someone who would fill my needs because I've worked damn hard trying to become the kind of person that would appreciate my puzzle piece when he came along. I wasn't going to be that puzzle piece that almost fits.

Topping from the bottom? Nah. I call it being self-aware. Aware of what you want and aware of what exactly you can give.

Dominance isn't a gift, submission isn't a gift, the caliber of person I am in bringing myself to the relationship is what can be a gift. When I'm dead, if people say, "yeah, da' rat was fucking awesome, I'm glad I knew her" then I was a blessing.

The extremes are what creates the balance, or it should, and that doesn't happen without reciprocity.

Extremes create balance in everything.

In science, there's protons, neutrons and electrons. Two extremes and a balance.

In science, for each action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Two opposites and a balance.

In math. Remember the number line? Zero was the end and the beginning. For every number added to one side of zero, you HAVE to add the same number to the other side of zero. Two opposites and a balance.

Up, down. Good, evil. Yin, yang. Back, forth. Love, hate. Heaven, hell.

The whole fucking shebang is nothing but extreme opposites creating a balance.

I don't get why relationships, vanilla, D/s or otherwise are always presented up as exceptions to the rule.

Maybe it's because martyrs like to martyr and narcissists like to stare in the mirror and it's all just a ruse to avoid personal responsibility?

Because, fuck, if submission isn't a gift anymore folks might have to step up their game and actually be the kind of person others say "man, I'm a lucky motherfucker so-n-so is in my life." about.

I could be wrong, though.

blink blink

My submission ain't a gift, but I sure as hell can aspire to be.