Dear Hoodbooger

So, Mr.DownstairsNeighbor, you left for Atlanta for three weeks. While you were gone your hoodbooger girlfriend and your kids moved in. Them and their gawddamn cockroaches. I hate bugs, I really do and this isn't going over so well.

I've used boric acid. I've used Raid. I just mixed a tiny bit of exterminator strength roach killer I wheedled off a friend and sprayed everything down. Tomorrow I'll pull everything out of the cabinets and spray them til they're soaked.

I hate that the motherfuckers only come out at night. Baby cockroaches. EVERYWHERE.

Fuck this. They go or I do.

I don't bitch when you stink up the hallway with weed. I was only mildly irritated when your girlfriend decided to blow her car horn like a fuckwit at 2am under my window, but this?

Aw, hellnaw! I refuse to live with bugs and I don't know how the hell you can. They're just...nasty!

I guess hoodboogers don't mind laying up with motherfuckers who don't contribute to the rent.

You really need to clean your house, man. Better yet, make that hoodbooger you let move in clean that shit. Pronto.