"Compliments build self-esteem." ...ORULLY?

So, there's this young lady who has a photo up of herself in a bikini. She proclaims she is 'perfection'.

I was reading through the wreckage that is the comments section and someone made a remark to the effect of, "maybe she just needs to boost her self esteem a bit, get a few compliments, we all, including you, need that from time to time."

Yeah, no. I'd really rather not be complimented on my appearance. I don't need self-esteem boosts based on things like my looks. You know, shit that fades, sags, gets dimply, gets stretch marked, et al.

Women have worth beyond how good they can make a man look by being on his arm, no matter how bombarded you are by images that say otherwise.

So, yeah, it really kinda bothers me when I see women putting themselves out there and begging for attention all in an attempt to feel ok with who they are; in an attempt to find some self-esteem.

I went a lot of years lacking self-esteem. I based my worth on my looks. I based my worth on how worthy I was of a man's attention.

The thing is, it never built my self-esteem. It merely inflated my ego, and as we all know, egos are fragile things. Easily burst by one guy with a need to neg on you.

See, I don't think self-esteem can be built with compliments. I think it gets built by finding really good fucking qualities in yourself and by being the kind of person you'd give your trust and love to, because those are things no one can take away from you. These things make you loveable, desirable, and goddamned sexy.

Those qualities are yours and not subject to criticism because of a mole there, a scar here, a muffin top over the top of your jeans, or a crooked eye that looks north. They're based in things that don't change the way looks change.

Honesty, integrity, loyalty, empathy, compassion...these are things to build your self-worth on, not how awesome you look in a fucking bikini, because, baby, at 80, you're not going to be fucking 'perfection' anymore and your belly button ring will be a clit tickler.

So, you might want to think about building your house on something other than the sand of your looks.