Get off my fucking lawn, Rent-A-Cop douchebag.

I've noticed a disproportionate amount of racist, white fucks here in Arizona.

I mean, those real racists. The ones that have no fear, or compunction, about letting that word-that-shall-not-be-named pop out their foul mouths. I've been here 6 months and have pulled back more mouth shots than I care to count. Yeah, hoodie don't play that racist shit.

Anyway, there's a couple of young men that live next door, brothers. They're good neighbors. They look out for me. We commiserate out on the walkway. The edgiest thing they do is shoot dice out front. There's never any arguments, or yelling, or fighting. There's no drug dealing or gang-banging. Just a bunch of young guys having fun.

No big deal, right?

Well, apparently for some folks, it's a HUGE deal. Huge enough to come and stand in front of my door, at nearly 11pm, screaming at the top of their lungs. Their speech riddled with swearing and disrespect.

There was much posturing by Mr. White-Man-Rent-A-Cop, who claimed the entire apartment complex as his domain and personal property. I could almost picture this guy, Ninja-style, pissing all over the complex and marking his territory.

This is MY PROPERTY! UG UG!

Me, being the cunt that I am, opened the door and gave the frothing guy what-for.

"Um, excuse me, but you're here, scolding these boys who haven't bothered me once ALL NIGHT, at a volume that is completely inappropriate for this time of night. I understand you're trying to do your job, but you can do it with less noise and more respect because, you know, right now you're in front of my door, disturbing my peace."

"I'll be done in a minute, ma'am." --bugs out his eyes at me and goes back to yelling--

"Uh, dude, you're DISTURBING MY PEACE. STOP YELLING IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT. STOP HARASSING THESE YOUNG MEN AND PLEASE SEEK SOME KIND OF ANGER MANAGEMENT."

--bugs his eyes at me again--to partner--"Call the police."

"Yes, let's call the police so I can file a report for you DISTURBING MY PEACE. Then, you and these boys can all ride to, and sit in, lock-up TOGETHER."

"You guys just take this inside."

Yeah, that's right Mr. Has-To-Posture-To-Feel-Manly, GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN, WELL, CONCRETE WALKWAY.

And take your shitstain attitude with you.