Yes, my mom was abusive. She was also many other things.
She was, by far, the most witty, sarcastic, on the ball person I've ever known. She didn't miss a beat and had a one-liner for everything. My Mom made people laugh, hysterically. My snark came from her, she taught me well.
She may have sucked at being a mother, but she was an incredible friend. She was that friend that would crawl out of bed at 3:41am, get dressed, and come rescue you from whatever mess you'd gotten yourself into. She was that friend that would slap the slob out of her BFF's man for daring to hit her friend. She was all of 5'4", 110lbs- fully clothed, soaking wet, with oranges in her pockets. She was the epitome of fierce. I got my fearlessness from her. I also learned how to be a good friend.
Now, she could fuck with us kids. She could do whatever she wanted, but FSM help anyone that hurt us. She was so very protective. No one fucked with HER kids, ever. Not teachers, not other kids, not random folks. No one.
She loved music. Rock music in particular. She was also pretty partial to Motown. She passed on that love to me.
I have memories of going out on Fridays with my parents to the bowling alley. They were on a team. She used to feed the jukebox all night with quarters just to hear this:
To this very day when I hear that song, I see my mom in her bowling shirt singing off key, laughing with her friends, and I smile.
She wasn't all bad. I really did/do love her. I miss her every day.
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